A Turkey for the Turkey
I want to thank my good friend Bob Moore for a wonderful weekend of turkey hunting near Sallisaw, Oklahoma for the start of the Oklahoma turkey season. What began, in the initial planning stages, as a Kansas youth hunt turned into the opening weekend of the regular season in Oklahoma. Kids were the order of the day and the theme was fun. Now, I am a little embarrassed to say this, but my kids have never been camping. That is unless staying in a cabin with running water, air-conditioning and satellite television counts as camping. Heck, I don't even own a tent anymore. So Bob, the ultimate cowboy for those of you that don't know him, decides that the kids, my two boys and Bob's grandson, would enjoy the turkey hunt all the more by "roughing" it in tents.
Now, the great thing about Bob is the fact that he has never been one to shirk a task. In fact, I think he may have been an outfitter in a different life. I explained that I didn't have a tent. "Not a problem. I have plenty of tents," says Bob. No camping equipment, no problem. In fact, Bob even left early on Friday to get things ready. We left town when the boys got home from school. After an arduous 30 minute drive, which by the way is much shorter than the drive to Kansas (Can you say bonus for dad?), we arrived at Bob's secluded Sequoyah county paradise. To my surprise, camp was completely set up to include one tent for the Moores and one tent for the Zuerkers. Firewood was cut. A fire pit was built and loaded with wood. A table was built. Shoot, Bob had even gone out and set up my double bull blind for me.
Let the fun begin. Well, not just yet. I was able to wrangle my two boys, Cooper and Will, into at least helping unload the truck and four wheeler. The whole key to that accomplishment was to strategically place the BB guns on the bottom so that they were only accessible after unloading everything else. Now, Bob's grandson, Jax, has never met my boys before. I can tell you one thing for sure, give the boys 10 or 15 minutes with a couple of Daisy Red Riders and they will form friendships that will last a lifetime. So now that the boys have bonded, we can get down to business. A quick tour of the property to determine where everyone will hunt on opening morning and we are set. Let the camping begin in earnest.
My boys now refer to that wonderful Friday night as "Turkey Season Eve." I think they have been watching way too much Duck Dynasty. According to Will, it's like Christmas eve, only better. Hey, what can I say, Jack. So the campfire is now roaring, it's time to dig into the coolers and snack bags. I will pat myself on the back and say that my venison snack sticks were a big hit. Some of you might take camp cooking for granted. I know I did. But Will, a growing 13 year old boy that has never camped, was awfully concerned about how we planned on feeding ourselves without a kitchen, a grill, running water or an oven. He was certain we would starve to death. Fortunately, Cooper had an answer, "we'll roast hotdogs dumb butt." And that's just what we did. Hotdogs over an open fire, when you are camping, may be the best food on the face of the planet. Well, scratch that. According to Dustin Moore, brats are better than hotdogs. So, we had those as well. Topped it all off with s'mores. There may have even been an adult beverage or two, but we did have a one beer limit for the kids.
Time to bed down. Another thing some people may take for granted is using the bathroom while camping. Some kids have questions. My response, "just like a bear." Most of you will probably get that. If you don't, you have lead a pretty sheltered life.
The older I get, the more particular I am about my sleeping arrangements. I scoffed a little bit, on the inside, when I saw Bob's big, fancy cot set up in his tent. I mean, really? What kind of cowboy or mountain man sleeps on a cot in the woods. Well, after a fitful night of wrestling rock and root, I can tell you what kind of man sleeps on a cot, a smart son of a gun. I can attest, your wife's rolled up yoga mat is no match for a hickory root.
Up at 5:00, a.m. that is. But, that sure beats another minute on the root of pain. My kids amazement reaches a new level when they learn what "uncle" Bob has in store for breakfast. "How in the world is he going to make biscuits without an oven, Dad?" The cowboy way, of course. Behold the dutch oven. I'll give you another piece of advice, biscuits in a dutch oven buried in hickory coals don't take nearly as long as biscuits in your fancy oven at home. That, my friend, was a point Bob and I debated for about 20 minutes. Good thing this wasn't Bob's first rodeo. He brought two cans of biscuits. The second batch, cooked for about seven minutes, was perfect. Although, Will scavenged the first batch off of the ground and declared the little part right in the middle, perfectly edible. Add in some fresh eggs from Bob's hens and some breakfast sausage and we are off to a glorious start.
Now remember when I told you Bob set up my blind for me. A good friend will do that. A better friend will offer to take one of your two boys with him in his blind, so that both boys have a better chance of shooting a turkey. The best friend, however, will smooth out put you on some turkeys. It was cracking daylight as Cooper and I were walking in to our set up. As we approached our blind, we kicked a long beard off the roost only 200 yards from our blind. By the time we were zipped up, there were birds gobbling all around us. If we had been in 15 minutes earlier, he would have landed in our laps. I can honestly say, I heard as many gobbles on Saturday morning as I have ever heard while hunting.
Problem was, the birds were vocal, but not all that cooperative. At least as far as Cooper and I were concerned. But, Bob and Will were knee deep in birds. Will texted me at one point to let me know that he had four strutters and a hen not 40 yards from his blind. Shortly after that, I heard a shot. Next, I was texted the picture you see here. Finally, I get a text from Bob, confirming that Will is a stone cold killer. All calm cool and collected. Come to find out, the one he shot was not one of the strutters, rather it was an old Tom that snuck in behind Bob and Will. After some repositioning, Will shot him at 9 steps. Yep, that boy has ice water in his veins. Will later texted me that he killed a turkey with his gun and that he was now trying to kill one with his icy stare. Again, I’m worried that at least one of my kids will grow up to be Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty.
Unfortunately, Cooper and I were not so lucky. Seems that all of the once boisterous and love struck birds were soon hen-pecked, pun intended. It was as though someone turned off a switch. Apparently, those Toms were looking for love in all the right places. Back to camp. I will say here that I am proud of my boys. They made the decision to give Jax, their new friend, one of their BB guns. I’m told that Jax has already gone through hundreds of BB’s. Around 10, we headed back to town, Bob and Dustin had a funeral to attend, and I had to get Will to baseball.
Boy was I happy to sleep in my own bed on Saturday night. I thought about sticking a boot under the mattress so I would feel more at home, but hey, I am smarter than that. 4:30 comes awful early, but someone has to do it. Back on the road to meet Bob for round two.
I’m not ashamed to admit that Bob knows turkeys. I figured Cooper would have a better chance of shooting a turkey with Bob, the turkey whisperer, than with me. So, we switched it up and Cooper went with Bob, Will went with me. Dustin must have known something because he slept in. In any event, Cooper never got a turkey, but he did get to see a show. He saw them strut. He saw them chase hens. He saw them putt. He heard them gobble. He saw them act foolish, as turkey tend to do this time of year. He just saw all of these things from 40 yards instead of 25 yards. That’s just the way hunting is sometimes. Cooper now has a new appreciation for Bob's humor. He has recounted story after story of Bobisms as I've come to call them. Maybe Bob is a Si fan at heart. Did you know that Bob's yelp, when roughly translated, means come on over you big boy, I'm a hottie?
Turns out, Will told his mother that he really prefers deer hunting but played along with me to keep me and “Uncle Bob” happy. Well, that was before last weekend. Now the long beards have their spurs in him. I think he is a turkey hunter for life. As for Cooper, he is still on a quest for that first bird. The good news is that Turkey Season Eve comes again in a couple of weeks when the Arkansas season opens. Maybe it is better than Christmas Eve. I am grateful to have spent time with wonderful friends and well behaved children. My boys had the best time, spent quality time with a dear friend and made a new friend of their own. They are now compiling a list of camping needs, such as a tent of their own and a cowboy biscuit oven. In today's age, it is nice to have some Christmas and birthday ideas that don't involve electricity or a remote control. Bob, Dustin and I have vowed to try and offer the boys more opportunities to share time in the woods. I can see a two day float trip down the Buffalo in our future. I just hope I can fit a cot in a canoe. What can I say, I'm a renaissance man, Jack.